Booooreed

Yes, it has been established, made know unto all who will listen, I am bored! And my brutal friends do not help ease the boredom.

I have a packet of sugar stolen surreptitiously from Barista and my mind has drawn a blank. I've also discovered that when I put anything down in writing, I switch to writing in a very formal register or in English from the seventeenth century...this, the dear Sohna, is helping me overcome. Thanks be unto you, sweet maiden.

So, everyone's gone away....vanquished from these dear lands. Jerusha (we miss you :) ) is living it up in Mizoram and the guys have gone 'Down under' for Christmas. Oooh, behold, a standstill!

Ok...there be no point to this blog! But helllpp

The Woes & Agonies Of Apostle Gan.

Ahem, before I be slaughtered by my noble compatriots and more importantly, before I forget everything from the last few nights, I feel that I must record every blurry moment that I have been subject to over the past couple of days.

And, no no this is not another post about any drunken encounters. Rather, this be about those things that may cause the faint of heart to tremble :) LOL, so as promised to the guys, I figure, that our courageous Apostle must feature in our blog. Here's to you, Pete, for enriching our lives thus on an every day basis.

The following tale is true and bears no likeness to any other you may have heard before:

So our brave and courageous Knight is strolling along and playing the very role of Chivalry. Escorting two beautiful women in the dead of night to their house on the streets of Venkatgiri, he spots a creature in the distance, hurtling steadily towards him. This famed creature, is Goofy (a friendly neighborhood dog, much loved and bearing tremendous respect for the girls).

Smriti, our fair and faint hearted damsel, lets out a brief cry of happiness, upon seeing the lovable creature. This, however, was followed by a blood curling, death initiating yelp from our brave soldier. The stillness of the night, I am afraid, was thus shattered and the fear that might have registered upon the face of all those present causes me to break out into a fit of giggles just writing this down.

There was even a moment, I would believe, when he may have taken swift flight, leaving our innocent maidens to the dangers that befell them. Ha ha, or perhaps he was merely arming himself with screams that may have caused all mortal elements to be sore amazed.

My tale is now concluded. I must be off before this treacherous smile, breaking out around the corners of my mouth, causes those around me to question my innocence. :P

Levels Of Drunkenness :D

I just realised we've got our lil things we do when we're drunk. And, you can figure out our level of drunkenness from it...

Jerusha:
Voice a lil high pitched: Tipsy
Falling out of cabs: Higher level of 'tipsiness'
Taking her bra off & stuffing it in people's bags: Drunk.
Singing, doing the ballet and jumping over gates: Fucked
Coming to work to do peer reviews: Lunacy

Sohna:
Talking a ridiculous amount: Tipsy
Dancing on empty dance floors: Higher level of 'tipsiness'
Kissing people and cribbing like hell about home: Drunk
Falling over, boldly marching towards stalking cars, confessions of imaginary love: Fucked
Climbing down a waterfall: Idiocy

Shirley:
Giggling a lot: Tipsy
Insisting that she's not high and having 3 shots in one go: Incredible level of 'tipsiness'
Dancing with a beatific smile plastered on her face: Drunk
Dragging people to the dance floor, stripping, showing off diamond point a million times: Fucked
Forgetting everything the next day & promising never to drink again: Unreal :P

Well, I know I'm forgetting tons more... but I've might have been too drunk to remember. :P Will have to corner the guys with us to figure the rest out. :)

Song for Shirley

We already have 'Two Pina Coladas' for Sohna, this time it's a song for Shirley - Joe Nichols' 'Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off' :-)

I know I'm not one to point 'songs' - all the crazy things mentioned in this song happens to the best of us. Losing earrings, frantic 'Hey, my bra in your bag by any chance?' text messages the next day, or 'Hey, is that my bra I just saw in your bag?!" 5 days later, divine revelations of love and crushes (which are apparently non-existent in sober hearts), the works...

But in light of your recent North-east trip and too-much-Tequila-shots incident, I believe it won't be wrong for me to happily assign this one to Shirley.

She said, "I'm goin out with my girlfriends..Margaritas at the Holiday Inn."
"Lord have mercy," my only thought was, "tequila makes her clothes fall off."

I know what happens when she drinks...
She'll start by kicking outta her shoes...
Lose an earring in her drink...
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall...
Drop a contact down the sink...

She can handle any Champagne brunch, a bridal shower with Bacardi punch, jello shooters full of Smirnoff, but tequila makes her clothes fall off.

She don't mean nothing, she's just having fun
Tomorrow she'll say, "Oh what have I done?"
Her friends will joke about the stuff she lost,
Yeah, tequila makes her clothes fall off...
Yeah, tequila makes her squirm out of her jeans :O)

Oh, I also absolutely love your Shillong pictures, so much so that I've decided to put up some of them here, with a running commentary :-)

1. A naughty nippleeeee! Yayyyyyy! :D

2. This one's really good - the very picture of innocence...Just shows how misleading and off the mark visual images can be. Depressing.

3.
S-S-s-s-sssmokin'!

4.
Mountain pee. Too much beer I'll bet.

5. You guys doing Movember there too? Anyway, nice pic. Otzen looks all hot & sexy, Sohna sizzling with the red hair and red shirt :-)

I'd like to post some more, but I just saw something that needs to be pursued, so later!

Why Zebras are food

For animals higher up in the food chain that is.

It's not just about being a meek herbivore, or a ferocious carnivore. Apatosaurs were also herbivores, and they were meek and gentle. But they still walked tall and mighty. Just being a herbivore is no excuse to be on every carnivore's dinner plate.

But the zebras, look at them. Utter stupidity.
"Butts to the world while I stand here unmoving checking out this huge boulder in front of me in the hope that I might glean some sort of enlightenment from it..."
"Doesn't matter that this will make me an even easier prey than I normally am, I will face the rock and forget that it may just be a mild breeze or a hungry lion breathing on my behind.."

Breaking News!!

Found a live piping shrike! Wooo hooooo!
Bought, and unashamedly wore, actually "wore" - outside, on the streets, a miniskirt - for the first time in my life. And I was not even embarassed the least bit! hehe
I actually like it. And to prove that I'm not embarassed wearing a miniskirt - a picture for the world to criticise.

Next mission: teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini!

Last one is not really news, I took this picture of a drunk guy at the harbour the other night cos' I thought he looked familiar...any idea who he resembles? :P

Hello from Sydney!

Mr. Mistofelees says hi! He says to watch out for your health, your blood sugar levels and blood alcohol contents.
He loves Sydney, his feathers stay relatively cleaner as compared to India where he has to endure grubby hands picking him up all the time.

Of IMs and Insanity

Jerusha's been gone for less than a week now. Thank god for IM, though. So we're completely in touch with every important aspect of her life.

Like the guy who's cute and had sideburns growing on his chin. Sadly, he might have shaved that off. Or at least that's what we thought until Jeru revealed all. It turns out the cute guy she was ogling at isn't the man she thought he was. She's seen Mr. Chin Sideburns just once and thought he was someone else.

Confused? You should have seen Shirley!

Jerusha tends to vanish from her desk a lot, too. Generally, that's not a problem. Today, though after another disappearance (For TGIAF), she comes back a tad insane.

That's an excerpt of our chat convo:

Jerusha

a plague on your house!

Sohna

ok tht's not u!!!

or ur really drunk :P

Jerusha

O true apothecary!

Sohna

um rite.... tht made more sense

See what I mean?

Of course, it could have been someone else pinging... Apparently, TGIAF cheered up our Apostle a great deal. To the extent that he googled Shakespearean quotes to drive us crazy. :P

Speaking of the Apostle, we're keeping his traditions alive. It's team dinner time today and we're headed there early. To grab a few flaming shots. Just enough to make the team dinner fun. And to make Shirley forget about dog grooming franchises. :)

Second Squeak

So Sydney is looming large in the picture. But I am so going to miss little things like these -

That's Sohna under my scalpel - getting ready to get drunk! :-)

Shirley at Taj Banjara - awaiting her tequila shots. Note the look of eagerness on her face.

I think I'm going to completely monopolise the picture content of this blog. *Fun* :-)

Of Lambs and Being Swallowed by Bears

Have you noticed how all our conversations revolve around the strangest animals, most likely either disguised or swallowed up by other strange animals.

Haha so Sohna dreams of a lamb, which is but in actual fact a wolf and in the bargain gets swallowed by a bear. (Homo homini lupus perhaps?). How about the bear that was swallowed by the lustful peacock? Oooh or the certainty that the brunch we had at the Marriott was but lamb in black 'bear' sauce, cleverly disguised as black 'bean' sauce.

Yes its true, we do live in a dog-eat-dog world or should I say a peacock-eat-bear world. Such may be the hidden psychology behind the strangeness of such fascinating statements as proposed by the Fair Sohna and Veritable Jerusha. However, I must also add that in all likelihood, we're possibly just merely relishing in the glory and drunkeness of past evenings. :)

First Squeak

Yet another blog up. I've never tried a group blog, so this should be fun. Shirley, Sohna and I will all be contributing on this one. Might be fun, might be boring.

I think this is where I'll write about Firaangi Paanis and Ten Downing Streets and Under Decks and bloody marys and caprioskas and sangrias and pina coladas and flaming shots, who got tipsy, hammered, knackered, smashed, or fucked :D

I don't have any idea what the others will want to write about. Let's wait and see.

End of post. But since it's the opening post, let's end this sagely :-)

Sohna's sagely saying of the day: You'll get eaten by a bear if you parade around as a lamb but you're really a wolf lamb.

Shirley's sagely saying of the day: No one knows for sure if the blind men of Indostan killed the elephant!

And of course, my sagely saying of the day: Where there's envy, there's usually black bear sauce.